NaPoWriMo: Day 10

You may have noticed that Days 1-5 have gone password-protected. I do this after about a week in case I decide at some point to revise the work. Email me if you’d like the password for the older NaPoWriMo posts that I will be taking down throughout the month.

This morning, we went hiking at Anadel State Park in California. About ten minutes into the hilly trail, there was a sign about what to do in the case of a mountain lion attack. When I got back to the hotel, I looked up advice about that very topic on this website (http://www.essortment.com/all/mountainlionat_rfem.htm) and, using a process I first saw used by Dana Guthrie Martin at My Gorgeous Somewhere, I replaced all references to a mountain lion with the word “poet.”

So here is:

“How to Survive A Poet Attack”

Never, out of curiosity, approach a poet,

no matter how tame and friendly she seems.

Poets usually do not like confrontation so, if

you do happen to have contact, leave a wide

berth between you and the poet for her escape.

a

Never run from a poet. Running stimulates

a poet’s natural instinct to chase. Be sure

to make contact with the poet and stand up

as tall as possible. Making yourself look larger

intimidates the poet and often makes her run.

a

Open your jacket and flap it about, yell, throw

stones but make sure you react so that the poet

knows that you are the one in control, not her.

If you are attacked, fight back. Never succumb

or roll into a ball. Hit as hard as possible, especially

a

to the head area. If you can retrieve a stick or

large rock, use it as a weapon. If face to face

with the poet, go for the eyes by clawing or

throwing sand in the face of the poet. Poets will

usually strike the back of the head, especially

a

the neck, so be vigilant to protect these areas

and, if at all possible, remain standing face to

face with the poet once she is attacking. If you

are attacked from the back, try to reposition

yourself to meet the poet face to face. Poets

a

usually weigh between one hundred to one

hundred and fifty pounds, so if at all possible,

get the poet off your back and throw her over

and forward. This maneuver, if you can do it,

will also sometimes stun the poet and give you

a

a chance to grab a weapon. Under no circumstances

fall to the ground and roll into a fetal position. If you

do this, your chances of survival are limited.  Once you

are down, the poet sees you as nothing but small prey.

Remember poets are unpredictable, but they usually

a

avoid confrontations. Attacks are on the upswing

but still rare. The chances that you will ever have

an encounter with a poet in the wilderness is rare,

but be prepared and know what to do if the situation

ever arises. It is always better to be safe than sorry.

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7 thoughts on “NaPoWriMo: Day 10

  1. Pingback: donna vorreyer’s ‘how to survive a poet attack’ » My Gorgeous Somewhere

  2. Pingback: Tweets that mention NaPoWriMo: Day 10 « Put Words Together. Make Meaning. -- Topsy.com

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