So this is the beginning of the free write I produced yesterday. Unfortunately, since there are some word choices that would probably not be appropriate for any of my students who sometimes Google me, if you would like to read the rest of it, please leave a comment and I can email you the entire piece. Sorry for the hassle – but teachers in general are getting blasted enough these days that I don’t need to add any fuel to that fire.
Common Sense Lullaby
Hush little baby, don’t say a word, even though you are a baby and do not speak in words. Be quiet anyway. Halt all your gurgling and cooing and screaming that cannot be deciphered but by guessing. Yes, hush because papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird, though I do not know what an infant needs with a bird, especially a noisy one – but if that mockingbird won’t sing, papa will buy you a diamond ring and here is where it really gets ridiculous because I get that some people want to spoil their babies and all, but a diamond ring? A baby would suck on it or eat it or throw it down the toilet and then where would you be? Out several hundred bucks and still the baby crying, crying, crying, and if that diamond ring turns brass, then that just means that your papa is a cheap lying bastard who tried to pass off a piece of costume jewelry as a treasure to a poor, naïve, innocent baby who couldn’t tell the difference but was promised a diamond, which makes your papa a liar as well. And then bought you a looking glass – what is this, the 17th century? How about a mirror – he bought you a mirror, and yes, a baby can be entertained by a mirror, so that’s the first smart move that your papa has made all along – don’t know why he didn’t think of it earlier, since birds and diamonds are just ludicrous to buy for a crying baby. So he buys you the mirror and, of course, it gets broke. But instead of just buying another mirror, one that would delight you with the other baby hiding inside? He buys you a billy goat. Seriously.
(This is where I have to stop…leave a comment and see what I happen to think about the goat…)