NaPoWriMo Day 6: Long-Winded

A special holiday from work today, so no classroom activity. Instead, I slept in, worked out, cleaned, shopped, read, and did some writing. Tonight I have at least five submissions planned as well, so my NaPoWriMo day will be complete.

I have been working with some free-writing techniques where I write in phrases, not concerning myself with syntax, but more with sound and word association. Today, this technique led me to a draft that is one, long, meandering sentence with elements of fantasy that usually do not creep into my work.  I will include the whole draft here – again, I welcome any feedback that may help when it comes time for revision. (Note: Full poems posted here during April will eventually be removed if the poems are to be revised or submitted for publication.)

Miscarriage

A paddlewheel turned against the sky and struck

a star in the shifting purple weight of midnight,

dropping it into the lap of a geisha, its cry a song…

 

(Remainder removed for revision…)

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “NaPoWriMo Day 6: Long-Winded

  1. I love the use of the long sentence here, with its effect of a slow-mo movie that highlights with excruciating clarity each frame within the continuity of a devastating, unstoppable, life-altering event. I say ‘devastating’ because of the title and early images, and thinking of the hopeful mother… but your poem moves me toward a higher understanding. In the end I sighed myself, feeling the relief of weightlessness again, no expectations other than to be the star one is.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s