Rachel Bunting‘s NaPoWriMo poems are all based on news items this year, and you should head over and read her fabulous work. I borrowed her strategy for today’s draft, going to Yahoo News! last night and taking some notes from a story about a landslide in Tibet. Since the event has its own inherent drama and tragedy, I tried to keep the distanced language of a news report:
89 Missing in Landslide at Jiama Mine, Tibet
*
The earth sobbed and heaved
its great shoulders and collapsed
onto the bodies of the sleeping men.
*
Rescue workers dug through
fifty meters of rubble until new
cracks in the hills slashed warning.
*
Hospitals in Lhasa were placed
on emergency alert to treat survivors.
Their beds sit cold and empty, waiting.
Advertisements
Well thank you for the link and the compliment!
I like the distance in this – I think it lends a new clarity. I wonder if the distance might be emphasized if the earth was indifferent? A shrug instead of a sob? Just a thought.
Hmmm…love that idea – sobbing was just my first thought about heaving shoulders, but that suggestion is a fine tonal one. Thanks.